Someone is calling me. It’s coming up in cold readings that others are doing for me. I know that Djehuty wants me to work with him, but I am not sure that this Someone is him. I also am not sure what he (I think it is a he, though gender with gods can get iffy) wants from me. I feel like I am being called to a devotional relationship of some sort. I don’t think I am ready to commit to anything long term, but I would really like to see the offer. Perhaps it is something I could work towards. I am at a confusing point. I know that I am supposed to make choices, but how do I make choices when I don’t know what the offers are or who they are from? Patience is a virtue that I have to work a great deal to maintain for any extent of time.
Part of me is afraid that if I don’t find out everything RIGHT NOW, it will all go away and I’ll never know what I missed. This is not how it works, or, at least, that is what I keep telling myself. If a god really wants to work with me, they have to use the proverbial 2×4. I can and have sought out readings to try to see things more clearly, but that is all I can do. At this time, I need to focus on what I do know.
I have set up a little Norse altar on a bookshelf. I should be getting a table to use for it on Monday. I am feeling drawn to Odin, so I am reading a good deal about him. I want to start some rune study. I want to do a large number of things, though, so we’ll see if I can actually get something going. I still want to repair my relationship with Loki. I feel drawn toward the Giants in general and would like to include several of them a general practice of some sort. I still haven’t set up a daily routine, but I am making progress.
I still want to build a close relationship to Djehuty. All of my writing, little of it as there is, I am dedicating to him. He is a blessing in my life. A friend of mine shared a ritual to honor him and the Ogdoad of Hermopolis, so I might try doing it before my writing ventures if not daily. I still want to honor other Netjeru, but I don’t have a set daily practice for them either. I also need to put more work into my ancestor/akhu shrine and honoring them. I had some great ideas that I never fully completed. They have helped me in the past, and they deserve my gratitude and respect.
This is where I am in my practice right now. Lots to learn, lots to do, and lots of confusion. Hopefully things will become clearer in the future. For now, I do have enough to keep me busy if I so choose. I am trying one last outlet to see who has been calling me. If that doesn’t come through, I’ll assume that he doesn’t want to be known yet. A friend suggested making offerings to him inspite of the mystery. I am somewhat hesitant to develop a relationship when I don’t know who it is, but it’s worth considering. Time will tell.