It seems that I need to deal with my past. This theme has come back to me again and again over my short time as a polytheist. Having had an overall decent life, I’ve never been sure what exactly I was supposed to address. I think I have a start. Boxes.
When I see something that I really like, I tend to hold onto it. I tend to take on a lot, get fearful that I can’t meet expectations, and then put whatever it is in a box. Sometimes I’m able to open up the box later and help the thing grow with me. Other times I just leave it to stagnate because I don’t know what else to do.
I need to start going through my boxes. Old loves (not people) that I have kept wrapped up because I was too afraid I would break them. Some I want to make grow, others I can probably chuck as simply a passing fancy. This theme is not just in my spiritual life (I have a ton of boxes in my basement), but that is where I currently need to address. My spiritual life has been moving quickly of late, and I’ve started to put things in boxes, hoping that I can take them out later and they’ll be perfect or I’ll be more ready. Nothing can grow if I put it in a box, and nothing will be useful to me if I cannot let it grow with me.
I need to carefully go through each box one at a time. Some items might have to stay wrapped up for a bit, but even taking them out for a little light and a spin about will help encourage some growth. Someone told me recently that our only limitations are those that we impose on ourselves. I’m not sure I fully agree with this, but it does have a kernel of truth. I guess it is time for me to start opening boxes.
Edit: As a complete aside, I had . . . a dream? last night that I was in bed and Odin infused me with some of his energy. It was too much at first, but then it was amazing. Whatever it was, it was much better than my nightmares about work. Weird, huh?