Kemeticism as a journey- how has your practice changed since you started out? How did you find your place within the Kemetic sphere? Are there things you do now that you didn’t then? Things you weren’t expecting? What have you learned through trial and error that newbs may find helpful or useful?
This post goes along with the Kemetic Round Table, which can be found here. This is my first try at writing for KRT, so please judge me gently.
I start practicing Kemeticism about a year and half ago. Much has changed since then. I’ve developed somewhat deep relationships with Sekhmet and Djehuty. My library of books on Ancient Egypt has grown immensely. I don’t have a godphone, though I have become “god-bothered.” I still read a number of blogs by Kemetics. At times, I still feel like my practice doesn’t line up with theirs. It doesn’t. It doesn’t have to match. I can learn a lot from other practitioners even if we have differences. I am working on embracing my viewpoint within the Kemetic community. No one has to agree with me, but my opinion is important. Learning to let go of others’ standards has been difficult for me. It is important for my growth, however, so I will continue to work on it.
In the beginning of my practice, I was extremely focused on rituals. I like rituals, so this was good for me. It helped me to start relationships with the gods. I fell away from the ritual practice somewhat as my relationships with my gods grew deeper and other things were required from me. Now it is time for me to return to ritual with a deeper love for the gods. Ritual is only one way to connect with the gods, but it is an important one for me. I started out creating my own small rituals from scratch. Now I am learning how to build upon the rituals of others.
My practice is expanding, but fear is holding me back. I am not afraid of the gods, but I am a bit hesitant to invest myself fully into such unknown relationships. When I started, I wanted a godphone so badly. Although some days I still think it would be nice, I realize that there are other ways that the gods can communicate with me. I’ve discounted my intuition in the past, but it is one of my strongest allies. Sometimes I just know what the gods want, even if I don’t want to admit it to myself. Other times, I don’t think even a godphone would help me figure it out.
I mentioned fear. Right now I’m a bit stuck. I can’t move backwards, and I don’t want to. Moving forwards, however, is scary. Part of loving anyone, corporeal or not, is giving up a bit of control. You don’t have to give up all control, and I don’t recommend that most people do. However, you have to give up some control and begin to trust. I need to trust the gods that I choose to follow that in the end I will come out a better person. This doesn’t mean following them blindly, but it does mean venturing into the unknown. I’m not good at trusting with my heart. I have put up many walls to protect myself. I am slowly working on taking some down.
I have learned the importance of ma’at in Kemeticism. In the beginning, I thought Kemeticism was all about the gods. It isn’t. Kemeticism is about living in ma’at and fighting isfet. Both of these concepts are action oriented. I am striving to better understand the concept of ma’at and the little ways in which I can contribute. I am also learning that fighting isfet through execrations is something I want to incorporate in to my practice.
My practice may have hit a speed bump, but that doesn’t make it any less valid or make me any less of a Kemetic. Kemeticism is not the only part of my spiritual journey, but it affects how I see the world. It affects how I view other religions and approach other gods. It is a part of my life, both religious and mundane. Just because my rituals or prayers might not be up to my own standards at present doesn’t make me a bad practioner. It means I’m growing. My standards have changed and what I need has changed.
The two most helpful things to my growth has been reading and finding a supportive online community. Books and blogs are wonderful resources. Books give me the historical perspective, while blogs show me some of the different ways that people are practicing Kemeticism. I’ve gotten good ideas from both. The important thing is to realize that your practice is not going to match up exactly with the next person, but you can still learn from them. The people that I know might practice differently, but they support me in my practice. There are many resources available and people willing to help those looking to develop a Kemetic practice. They are there for anyone who is willing to look.