Who Is It?

Someone is calling me.  It’s coming up in cold readings that others are doing for me.  I know that Djehuty wants me to work with him, but I am not sure that this Someone is him.  I also am not sure what he (I think it is a he, though gender with gods can get iffy) wants from me.  I feel like I am being called to a devotional relationship of some sort.  I don’t think I am ready to commit to anything long term, but I would really like to see the offer.  Perhaps it is something I could work towards.  I am at a confusing point.  I know that I am supposed to make choices, but how do I make choices when I don’t know what the offers are or who they are from?  Patience is a virtue that I have to work a great deal to maintain for any extent of time.

Part of me is afraid that if I don’t find out everything RIGHT NOW, it will all go away and I’ll never know what I missed.  This is not how it works, or, at least, that is what I keep telling myself.  If a god really wants to work with me, they have to use the proverbial 2×4.  I can and have sought out readings to try to see things more clearly, but that is all I can do.  At this time, I need to focus on what I do know.

I have set up a little Norse altar on a bookshelf.  I should be getting a table to use for it on Monday.  I am feeling drawn to Odin, so I am reading a good deal about him.  I want to start some rune study.  I want to do a large number of things, though, so we’ll see if I can actually get something going.  I still want to repair my relationship with Loki.  I feel drawn toward the Giants in general and would like to include several of them a general practice of some sort.  I still haven’t set up a daily routine, but I am making progress.

I still want to build a close relationship to Djehuty.  All of my writing, little of it as there is, I am dedicating to him.  He is a blessing in my life.  A friend of mine shared a ritual to honor him and the Ogdoad of Hermopolis, so I might try doing it before my writing ventures if not daily.  I still want to honor other Netjeru, but I don’t have a set daily practice for them either.  I also need to put more work into my ancestor/akhu shrine and honoring them.  I had some great ideas that I never fully completed.  They have helped me in the past, and they deserve my gratitude and respect.

This is where I am in my practice right now.  Lots to learn, lots to do, and lots of confusion.  Hopefully things will become clearer in the future.  For now, I do have enough to keep me busy if I so choose.  I am trying one last outlet to see who has been calling me.  If that doesn’t come through, I’ll assume that he doesn’t want to be known yet.  A friend suggested making offerings to him inspite of the mystery.  I am somewhat hesitant to develop a relationship when I don’t know who it is, but it’s worth considering.  Time will tell.

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